My How Things Change...

Yep...it's the truth.  Heraclitus CLEARLY knew what he was talking about around 500BC.  

Everything changes...   EVERYTHING. 

This is equally true for my life since the last post, only a month ago. 

:)

Nope, I haven't fallen off the Lenten wagon or anything...I'm still practicing mindfulness and being present in the company of others (though this IS easier with some than others...lol). 

The bigger change is my workout...and outlook on life. 

I quit Crossfit.  Yep.  I'm a quitter. 

Unfortunately, it started out as a requirement from the doc, since I was having so much trouble with my gallbladder and IBS.  (Yeah, TMI, I know...but hear me out.)

I realized that it was stressing me WAY out.  Instead of feeling like I was getting better and more able to do things, I was perseverating over the next morning's workout, freaking out about falling asleep in time to get up early and get my ass handed to me, and making myself sick in the process.  

Don't get me wrong.  I LOVED the box, the people, my coaches, and the feeling I got when I was done....AND MAYBE one day, I'll be able to go back to it.  But for now, the break has helped eliminate the psychological damages and reduce the pain my body was feeling. 

So, what does a girl do when she stops one workout and has time to figure out her destiny? 

SHE BUYS ROLLER SKATES, PADS, GUARDS, AND A HELMET AND JOINS 

ROLLER DERBY!!!

I can't lie.  This is something I've ALWAYS wanted to do.  I LOVED roller skating when I was a kid and the first time I saw a bout in Columbia, I was hooked.  I've talked and talked about trying out, but the time never seemed right.  

And this is where the next element of change is happening. 

I'm. Done. Waiting. 

Yep. 

I'm done waiting for the "right" time. I'm done waiting for things to fall into place.  I'm done waiting on this or that to be finished before I start living. 

You know why???

There IS NO right time.  Things ARE NOT GOING TO fall into place.  And LIFE IS HAPPENING while I am waiting for things to be finished. 

And you wanna know something?   This is the BEST I've felt about my little place in this big world in a LONG time. :)

Being More Present...

So, yesterday was Ash Wednesday.  I've struggled for two days to figure out what to give up this year. 

No, I'm not currently a practicing Catholic.  Honestly, if I had to fit my beliefs into a box (which would be pretty difficult), I'd have to say I'm more spiritual than religious and more Buddhist than anything else. I believe that good begets good, kindness is the key to everything, and compassion will get you a long way. 

But I like the idea of giving something up each year.  I think it gives me an opportunity to build strength in an area or develop a better sense of myself. Some years, I have given up a food in an effort to better my health.  One year I gave up swearing (well...I attempted...and was reminded daily to try even harder). 

This year, I was discussing options with a friend when she suggested giving up looking at the phone when with people.  I immediately knew this was what needed to be done. 

The simple act of being more present when with friends, family, and loved ones is a true gift. One that I want to give more often.  

I know I miss out on pieces of conversations and what's truly going on because my nose is buried in a status update, a received text message, or any number of other things going on inside my phone. 

So, effective immediately through the end of Easter (though I'm hoping that the practice sticks and becomes a longer goal), I am going to be more present when with company. The phone will be tucked away and the people I am with will be the most important people, conversation, and focus of that moment. 

:) 

Oh, February...

...the month when even the most sane of individuals begin to lose their shit. 

Seriously.  

Haven't you heard the warnings about not doing anything drastic to your hair during the month of February?   IT'S BECAUSE WE ARE ALL A LITTLE NUTS THIS MONTH!!

I, personally, have been on an emotional roller coaster from hell. 

And, I'm getting off. 

Immediately. 

I am no longer going to be a passenger in someone else's cart.  I'm taking back control and driving myself where I need to go. 

I generally have things under control, but being snowed in TWICE this year within two weeks, having two earthquakes immediately after, missing the gym more than I should have (partially from weather and partially from mindset), and overthinking absolutely EVERYTHING had me a little wonky and I ended up displacing some feelings onto others unnecessarily while making myself a little ill. :(

The good news is that I have PLENTY of great people in my life who help me daily to realize and recognize the person I truly am....not who I think I am or am not....not my insecurities....not my shortcomings....but ME. 

And now, I'm officially one day closer to fulfilling all those dreams I have. 

Being back on track feels so good.  I know I'll waiver again...that's called life.  But knowing that I don't ever have to feel completely alone, knowing that I am making decisions based on what is best for ME FIRST, and knowing that I am growing daily into the person I'm meant to be will help make derailments that much easier to deal with. 

Quote of the day: 

"It's easy to get discouraged and settle where you are in the tough times. But faith is about believing even when you can't see it. ... Don't talk yourself out of your future."  - Joel Osteen

Food for thought: 

Ridiculicious!!!!

Welcome to the South...where we shut down when the threat of wintry weather comes our way.  And while I am being serious, you DO detect a twinge of sarcasm in my words. 

Why??

Because, I grew up in northeast Ohio, where we had lake effect snow for 6 months out of the year. I walked to school in snow (with bread bags on my feet because I hated boots, but that's a story for another time.  Contact my mother, she's HAPPY to tell it as often as possible...haha). I had to wait 6 months after my 16th birthday to get my driver's license so I could "experience all kinds of weather."  I have a 4 wheel drive option on my vehicle. I've got this. 

So when this state closes down over a few inches, it makes me giggle.  HOWEVER, I have lived here long enough to know that we have 8 snow plows for the entire city in which I live. These plows spread sand, not salt, which helps very little in the battle of ice. The power goes out in the blink of an eye when ice starts covering wires. And people here start running into each other when the weatherman says there is a chance of rain, let alone sleet, snow, and ice. 

So, when the roads cleared enough to get out today, I did. I traveled to the grocery store to get bacon...something that one should NEVER be without. 

$99 later, I left. The good news is, I remembered the bacon. 

I wanted to try a recipe for short ribs. Keeping it Paleo, I googled and came across this recipe from NomNomPaleo. I was only able to find boneless short ribs and, though I thought I had some at home, had no fish sauce, so I left that out. Otherwise, I followed the recipe and was PLEASANTLY surprised.  The meat takes on an AMAZINGLY subtle flavor and is quite tender. I cooked a large pot of collard greens to accompany, and garnished with cilantro. 

Here is where I admit that yes, I licked the bowl. (No, really!!)  It is absolutely RIDICULICIOUS!!!

I cannot wait to eat leftovers tomorrow!  In fact, I may even do so for breakfast! (And you think I'm kidding...)

One Week Later...OH, THE PROGRESS!!!

This week I managed to make a ridiculous decision during the start of a second bottle of wine and haven't looked back!

Wednesday was cheat night meal, so my friend came over with Thai food (YUM!). We drank a bottle of wine and started a second, when I said I needed to go to 4:15pm WOD since I had a birthday dinner at 6:30.  She wasn't going to be able to get to 4:15, so we decided to go to 6am.  YES, you read that correctly...6am.

Meaning? Getting up at 5am. Yep.  You read THAT correctly, too. Haha.

So, Thursday morning, I received a text from my friend:

Bri: You up?
Me: Almost.
Bri: How are you feeling?
Me: I have no clear expectation of what 5am should feel like.

The workout was intense. We had to work as partners (thank GOODNESS!!) to tackle (for time):

2000m row
500 single jumps
250m sled pull (110 lbs) - outside, in the cold (uphill, both ways...haha)
100 no push up lateral burpees

We did it...in 28:14...to Rx specifications!

YES!! I Rx'd my first Crossfit workout!!!  

Friday morning, it was a little harder to get up, and the workout was harder - I didn't manage to Rx it, but I didn't think I'd Rx a workout for the first few months, so I was ahead of schedule on day one...fell right back into schedule on day two. :)

Today, on the other hand, I am sore. I was so sore it hurt to step up onto and down from curbs. Seriously.  PAINFUL.

Two epsom salt baths, lots of Biofreeze, and some ibuprofen have been today's saviors. Even put a little cinnamon whiskey in the tea tonight...hoping that my body repairs itself in time to be at the 6am class on Monday.

I know, I know....making plans to be up at 5 on a Monday sounds crazy.  But I honestly can't think of anywhere else I'd rather be than in that gym making myself better. :)

And the Fun Continues...

I stayed home Friday and called the doc, knowing that the three day weekend would be too long to wait if I indeed needed antibiotics for the bronchitis.  

Upon arrival, I was greeted with a mask and told (as politely as possible) to sit in the corner.  Apparently they're giving the masks to anyone who has a sore throat or cough, but there is nothing like having one thrust at you and told to sit in a corner to make you feel like you alone are responsible for any and all cooties being transported in the waiting room. 

At this point, I know I only have bronchitis, but I decide to humor them, despite being the ONLY person in the entire waiting room.  

That changed quickly. 

Within 10 minutes, the waiting room was full of people, mostly elderly women who were quite thankful for the mask once they heard my cough. So, if it made the days of a few folks, I can deal with that. You're welcome. 

After 45 minutes (oh, the joys of being "worked in"), I get taken back. Good news...I'm down another pound...haha.  My blood pressure is WONDERFUL and I have no temp. My pulse ox is still 100%. And I proceed to list my symptoms: coughing. Yep, seriously, that's it. I'm just coughing. Oh, and I kinda feel like there's an elephant on my chest.  I have bronchitis. I know the symptoms. 

And BOOM! I get an 8 inch swab shoved up both nostrils.  My nose immediately starts bleeding.  Super. I've been assaulted for a flu test....ridiculous since I only have bronchitis. 

I proceed to wait for another 35 minutes before the doc comes in and says," I'm sorry for the wait. Your cough sounds awful.  Oh, and you have the flu." 

Wait, WHAT?!!??

ASYMPTOMATIC and I have influenza A. 

No body aches, no fever, no sore throat, no nasal congestion, no drainage, I'm not really sleepy, and my cough is bronchitis. 

True enough, I ALSO have bronchitis, but I definitely have the flu. 

It's day 2, so we caught it early and Tamiflu will help, she says. 

Less than 4 hours later, I'm at home and miserable. The symptoms waited to kick in. 

Freezing down to the bones one minute and hot and sweaty the next.  Fever of 101.2.  Sore throat. Nasal congestion. Tired but can't rest.  Neck pain. 

SUPER!

Just my luck...it's a long weekend. 

The better news is my house is clean and my proposal is in review, so I have time to just chill this weekend...but I'd prefer to do it without sweating onto a popsicle or taking hot showers just to get my innards warm. 

This year, the flu is going around big time...whether you've had the shot or not, with and without symptoms, and compounded with other problems....like BRONCHITIS. 

If you even THINK you may have been exposed, I'd recommend getting tested.  It's relatively painless...okay, that's a lie...they will JAB a swab up your nose and make it bleed...but you'll recover and know fairly quickly whether or not you need to spend the next few days drugged up and guzzling liquids. 

On that note, I'm gonna drink my hot tea....

Cheers to good health!

And the Dancing Continues...

In my last post, I professed that I had pretty good rhythm and the whole one step forward, one step back Cha-Cha was part of my routine.

Welp...

The music never seems to stop. 

Tuesday I had an appointment with my pulmonologist. It went SOOOO well!!  Not only was my pulse ox at 100% (something I've NEVER experienced), I had lost 5 pounds since my last visit!! We took me off all the asthma meds (with clear instruction that I should use them consistently through the months of March and November, as those are the worst for my allergies) and changed the nasal spray to PRN. 

I was so excited!

And then....

DUN DUN DUN........

Today I woke up with bronchitis.   

or even better....

Sigh.  SOOO...I have committed to resting, getting plenty of fluids (in my awesome new mug...a Christmas gift from the best sister in the world!...pic below), and thinking about all the work I have that I can't do from home...which, by the way, is probably VERY helpful in the recovery process.  

Oh well, at least my cup is grammatically correct....something IS right in my world today! :)